MOST PARTIES CLAIMED ‘ONE FOR THE BOOKS’ NEVER APPEAR IN ANY BOOK

MOST PARTIES CLAIMED ‘ONE FOR THE BOOKS’ NEVER APPEAR IN ANY BOOK

You know the deal: those promoters who claim their party is always “one for the books.” Now ask yourself: have you ever seen any one of their parties published in books?  You answered correctly!! People always tell me GREAT BOOKING! And I’m pretty sure they’re talking about the book, and not the DJ. Meet Yousseff Vanbilderwyk, a veteran promoter from Boston. He has hosted as many as 382 events. 20%

ALEX JONES CONFIRMS ACID HOUSE CAREER IN THE MIDST OF CUSTODY BATTLE

ALEX JONES CONFIRMS ACID HOUSE CAREER IN THE MIDST OF CUSTODY BATTLE

Long suspected acid house producer Alex Jones has now confirmed all the rumors. Alex Jones who is in the midst of a nasty custody battle with his ex-wife is trying his very best to convince the judge in his case the screaming on his famed Infowars show is merely ‘performance art.’ The only thing screaming in my home is my collection of Roland TB 303 distortion pedals!! STATEMENT THROUGH LAWYER

DJ Who Started DJing 2 Months Ago Frustrated He’s Not Headlining EDC Yet

DJ Who Started DJing 2 Months Ago Frustrated He’s Not Headlining EDC Yet

A well known DJ from Mukilteo, WA whose name we’ve never heard of before but apparently is called Mason Smith is frustrated he’s not booked to headline the massive EDC Festival yet despite his 2 month long DJ career. 17 year old Mason Smith who is still four years too young to legally attend any nightclub in the US became fascinated with EDM 2.5 months ago. After purchasing a $50 controller

UNITED HIRES BERGHAIN STAFF TO KICK PATRONS OFF PLANES MORE EFFICIENTLY

UNITED HIRES BERGHAIN STAFF TO KICK PATRONS OFF PLANES MORE EFFICIENTLY

After overbooking a flight, United Airlines chose to remove four DJs from its flight. These persons were chosen by means of a random lottery system. The house and UK Garage DJs complied, whereas the trance DJ was singing some kind of melancholic melody as she grabbed her carry-on together. However, the last person to be removed from the plane, a leftfield DJ, refused. He was then dragged off the plane by unqualified personnel

WYLDE RUMORS: CAKED UP DENIES STEALING STEVE AOKI’S CAKES

WYLDE RUMORS: CAKED UP DENIES STEALING STEVE AOKI’S CAKES

Caked Up in trouble again? Caked up has/have been accused of stealing boatloads of random shit. Such as Deadmau5 drops, sample drops, thievery, and even your grandmother’s toothbrush. Well maybe not that. But a lot. There is a science behind the cake An anonymous source by the name of Fred Vanderwall tells us: “After coming to the conclusion that show is more important than music, the former duo Oscar Wylde

A DJ IMPORTED TRUMP’S SIGNATURE INTO ABLETON AND THE RESULT WAS SAD

A DJ IMPORTED TRUMP’S SIGNATURE INTO ABLETON AND THE RESULT WAS SAD

An anonymous Macedonian DJ from Macedonia named Davor Bogevsky imported Donald Trump’s signature into Ableton hoping to utilize a winning curve, or lucrative algorithm within, that could earn him millions in Beatport sales. The result however, was SAD. Davor Bogevsky: “I’m a techno producer, but my music does not sell, and I just really wanted to have a Beatport top 10 hit. When I first thought about importing Donald Trump’s signature into